Vw Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas, and out in the shed

Sat a tired old Volkswagen , its battery dead.

Its fenders were rusted, the floorpan had holes

The seats and the carpets had been eaten by voles

The tires had dry-rot, the gas tank was leaking

A turn of the wheel sent tie rods a-creaking.

So I put on my coat with a weight on my heart,

And went out to the shed to get it to start.

The engine turned over--there arose such a clatter!

I knew from the sound it was water pump chatter.

From under the dashboard there came a bright flash:

The wiring harness had just turned to ash!

"I've had it with Golf's!" I finally swore

"Enough is too much! I can't take any more!"

When what to my red, teary eyes should appear

But a little German (heck, I need a beer!)

"Guten Tag," he said, poking me in the belly.

"You needa my help? I'm Rudolf Leiding.

"This one can be saved; there's no reason to grieve.

All you need is some faith--Man, you gotta believe!

"A hammer! Some duct tape! Get me more tools!

When you work on these cars, just make up-a da rules!

We'll get her cranked over-no way that she'll stall

(But stand over there wit' you back to the wall.)

A cough and a sputter, the cacophony stunning--

I couldn't believe it! The darn thing was running!

The ghost winked at me and said, kicking a tire,

"Whatever you do, DO NOT TOUCH THIS WIRE!"

The old man then vanished amid sneezes and farts

But when the smoke cleared he had left me some parts.

So I opened the shed door and let the top down

Put pedal to metal and went out on the town.

And I thought to myself as I missed second gear

Merry Christmas to All and a Happy New Year!