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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
>> >
>> > >The rules of manhood
>> > >
>> > > >(1) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
>> > >
>> > > >(2) It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
>> > >a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
>> > >b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
>> > >c) After wrecking your boss' car.
>> > >d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
>> > >e) When she is using her teeth
>> > >
>> > > >(3) Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally
>> > > >killed and
>> >
>> > >eaten by his mates.
>> > >
>> > > >(4) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a
>> > > >friend out
>> >
>> > >of jail within 12 hours.
>> > >
>> > > >(5) If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister
>> > > >is off
>> > >limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
>> > >
>> > > >(6) Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is
>> > > >forbidden.
>> >
>> > >Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
>> > >
>> > > >(7) No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for
>> > > >another
>> > >man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly
>> > >optional.
>> > >
>> > > >(8) On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops,
>> > > >not
>>
>> > > >the
>> > >weakest.
>> > >
>> > > >(9) When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event,
>> > > >you
>>
>> > > >may
>> > >ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's
>> > >playing.
>> > >
>> > > >(10) You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have
>> > > >brought
>> > >her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the
>> > >purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
>> > >
>> > > >(11) It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when
>> > > >you're
>> > >sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless
>> > >supermodel...and it's free.
>> > >
>> > > >(12) Only in situations of Moral and/or physical peril are you
>> > > >allowed to
>> >
>> > >kick another bloke in the nuts. Unless you're in prison, never
>> > >fight naked.
>> > >
>> > > >(13) Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
>> > >
>> > > >(14) If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
>> > > >anything.
>> > >
>> > > >(15) Women who claim they "love to watch sport" must be treated
>> > > >as
>> > >spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability
>> > >to
>>
>> > >drink
>> >
>> > >as much as the other sport watchers.
>> > >
>> > > >(16) A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman
>> > > >must
>> > >remain sober enough to fight.
>> > >
>> > > >(17) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice
>> > > >of
>> > >pizza, but not both.... that's just mean.
>> > >
>> > > >(18) If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be
>> > > >talking
>> > >about his choice of beer.
>> > >
>> > > >(19) Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of
>> > > >yours...
>> > >except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
>> > >
>> > > >(20) Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while
>> > > >lifting
>> > >weights:
>> > >a)Yeah, Baby, Push it!
>> > >b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
>> > >c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
>> > >
>> > > >(21) Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal
>> > > >footing:
>> > >Both urinating, both queuing, etc. For all other situations, an
>> > >almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
>> > >
>> > > >(22) Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on
>> > > >longer
>> > >than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the
>> > >phone. Hang
>> >
>> > >up if necessary.
>> > >
>> > > >(23) The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a
>> > > >friend"
>> > >have carnal drunken sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and
>> > >guilty is no reason not to do it again before the discussion about
>> > >what a big mistake>
>> >
>> > >it was.
>> > >
>> > > >(24) It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not
>> > > >acceptable for
>> > >her to drive yours.
>> > >
>> > > >(25) Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink,
>> > > >lime green,
>> > >orange or sky blue.
>> > >
>> > > >(26) The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
>> > >Christmas?"with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a
>> > >Playstation, end of story.
>> > >
>> >
>
>
 

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no 26 being my fav
 
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