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"Doctor I think I have caught that bird flu that's going around"

"What makes you think that?"

"Well.... I've started wearing make up, talking b*llocks and can't park the car"
 

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Kevin
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A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.

Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

She replied, "He's probably golfing with his friends."
 
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