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8,655 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess
should see a doctor."

His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store
can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose
problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only costs you

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine
sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in
sample and deposited the €10.00.

The computer started making some noise and various lights started
flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which

1. You have tennis elbow.

2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.

3. It will be better in two weeks.......

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how
would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this
could be fooled.

He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To
it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the
and deposited the €10.00. The machine again made the usual noises,
its alights, and printed out the following analysis:

1. Your tap water is too hard.

2. Get a water softener.

3. Your dog has ringworm.

4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

5. Your daughter is using cocaine.

6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.

7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a

8. And if you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get

2,344 Posts
Guts vs. Balls

We've all heard about people having guts or balls.
But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed,
The definition for each is listed below ....

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, Being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to

Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

- is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling
of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the
a$s and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.

3,426 Posts
QUOTE slapping your wife on the
a$s and having the balls to say: "You're next."

cracking joke
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